The Rorschach Test for the Legally Blind

In January, I ordered a new pair of glasses. My vision had changed slightly; it had gone from ridiculously myopic to “worse.” For me, glasses are always an expensive, time-consuming investment. First of all, I’m an optometrist’s worst nightmare. I refuse the “eye puffer test” every visit. Sometimes the optometric assistants try to coax me into taking it.Continue reading “The Rorschach Test for the Legally Blind”

Harold and Kumar Write an Essay in “List Format”

For a few weeks now, I’ve been struggling with an essay originally composed in “list format”: Should I restructure it and erase the “inventory-like” nature of its arrangement? Should I leave it alone and let it die in its late stage of development? What’s my motivation, anyhow? Let’s see if I can determine the answersContinue reading “Harold and Kumar Write an Essay in “List Format””

Fun with Informal Rhetorical Fallacies

Ignoratio Elenchi: (An irrelevant conclusion, irrelevant thesis, or wrong conclusion fallacy; it is not the same thing as the “Red Herring” fallacy.) Example: “It is now legal in Baltimore for same-sex couples to marry. The law took effect January 1st, 2013. This year, Baltimore has also suffered a steep rise in gun-related criminal activity. Therefore, gayContinue reading “Fun with Informal Rhetorical Fallacies”

The B.A.A.A.D. Scale

Since “The Great Adderall Shortage of 2011” — an anarchic phenomenon limited primarily to the confines of clinic waiting rooms and pharmacy counters, propelled by insufficient supply and colossal demand — Vyvanse had become my drug of choice. When all over the country, adults and children suffering from ADHD made this collective plea — “Give me my medicine! IContinue reading “The B.A.A.A.D. Scale”

Julian-specific Aroma-fusions

Once Julian left for good, I started riding the Route 11 bus northbound to the Towson Mall. It was an hour ride one-way, so I made the trip mostly on Saturdays. I don’t remember what I did to occupy my time en route. Most likely, I thought about specificities pertaining solely to Julian — notContinue reading “Julian-specific Aroma-fusions”

A Lot of Sapphic Laughter

Over the past few months, friends of mine have been telling me that I have “choices” now. “Fine,” I’d say, “I choose a 1970 Dodge Charger, infinity money, and to hold the world record for fastest labyrinth-solving. Plus the emotional maturity of, at least, an eleven-year-old.” But, I get it — what my friends trulyContinue reading “A Lot of Sapphic Laughter”